read this in the morning after i cried so hard yesterday evening for losing one of baby stray cats that were just born on the roof of my house (stolen by a wicked stray cat) and actually couldn't sleep last night because the last voice i heard from the baby cat (the name is jingga) keeps ringing in my head, which is the most heart-breaking sound i've ever heard. i'm so mad and extremely sad and feel sorry for not being able to save jingga but before i went to my bed last night i apologised to kinan (the mum) and made a promise we will protect the rest three (senja, teduh, pelita).
while i cried and prayed for the bad cat to bring back jingga, i immediately claimed that september was far from bliss, an unpleasant one, nothing good happened but then i remembered at the end of august i went to my father's hometown, spent the days there with our one big family, and eventually became a very pleasant way to begin the next month; september. with the people i treasure and the fun memories we made. (i kept counting the days on the last five days because i was sad to leave)
and then last weekend i went to pestapora, my very first local music festival and first times never fail me. until this very moment, the longing to be back there still bursting in my heart. (i gave names for the trio: senja, teduh, pelita; because i met them the day after i went to pestapora and was humming senja teduh pelita [went to maliq & d'essentials' stage on pestapora\o/])
then i read the summary of this year's summer of yours and it gradually feels easier for me not to claim 'this' season as the awful one. i remember through my pulang kampung experience (i don't know it sounds warmer to say pulang kampung) i learned that those unfortunate events existed in between the good times not to make me afraid to be happy, they rather happen to make me feel balanced and it makes me human. i just need to be genuine, be happy when my heart spurts joy, and be sad when the moment is heartbreaking.
may we let ourselves forgive and give ourselves time to feel the feelings when they struck us and become confusing. i cherish you always, kak dea. <3
Thank you for a wonderful writing, insight, and message kakde. I hope life is still treating you well despite its ups and dowms 💙
Miss you Dea, sending much love from Germany and see you so very soon
read this in the morning after i cried so hard yesterday evening for losing one of baby stray cats that were just born on the roof of my house (stolen by a wicked stray cat) and actually couldn't sleep last night because the last voice i heard from the baby cat (the name is jingga) keeps ringing in my head, which is the most heart-breaking sound i've ever heard. i'm so mad and extremely sad and feel sorry for not being able to save jingga but before i went to my bed last night i apologised to kinan (the mum) and made a promise we will protect the rest three (senja, teduh, pelita).
while i cried and prayed for the bad cat to bring back jingga, i immediately claimed that september was far from bliss, an unpleasant one, nothing good happened but then i remembered at the end of august i went to my father's hometown, spent the days there with our one big family, and eventually became a very pleasant way to begin the next month; september. with the people i treasure and the fun memories we made. (i kept counting the days on the last five days because i was sad to leave)
and then last weekend i went to pestapora, my very first local music festival and first times never fail me. until this very moment, the longing to be back there still bursting in my heart. (i gave names for the trio: senja, teduh, pelita; because i met them the day after i went to pestapora and was humming senja teduh pelita [went to maliq & d'essentials' stage on pestapora\o/])
then i read the summary of this year's summer of yours and it gradually feels easier for me not to claim 'this' season as the awful one. i remember through my pulang kampung experience (i don't know it sounds warmer to say pulang kampung) i learned that those unfortunate events existed in between the good times not to make me afraid to be happy, they rather happen to make me feel balanced and it makes me human. i just need to be genuine, be happy when my heart spurts joy, and be sad when the moment is heartbreaking.
may we let ourselves forgive and give ourselves time to feel the feelings when they struck us and become confusing. i cherish you always, kak dea. <3